Myths about sex

 

Expert(s):
Dr. Achal Bhagat Psychiatrist Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, New Delhi Dr. Rajan Bhonsle Sex Therapist, Mumbai

DrNDTV: Does masturbation lead to impotence and insanity?

Dr. Bhagat: No, it does not lead to impotence, insanity, blindness or any other such thing. These are all myths and the reality is that 90 percent of the people, men or women, masturbate and most of them masturbate in a reasonable manner and there is no such thing as a bad consequence of masturbation.

DrNDTV: Is it harmful?

Dr. Bhagat: It is not.

Dr. Bhonsle: It is okay to masturbate and is harmless, provided it is done in privacy, on your own, in a manner that you maintain hygiene and also that you don't injure yourself. And moreover if a person is married and if he starts preferring masturbation over intercourse when his partner is very much ready, then of course it may not be regarded as normal and also when a person get obsessed with masturbation so that he just cannot do anything else, then also it can be regarded as abnormal. Physiologically, there are no ill effects of masturbation on one’s sexuality, sexual power or fertility.

DrNDTV: A woman does not enjoy sex as much as a man does.

Dr. Bhonsle: This is not true; men as well as women both are capable of enjoying sex equally. This myth exists because there is a basic difference between male and female sexuality. Male sexuality is body oriented. A man gets attracted to a woman's body. If he finds her body attractive, he gets interested in sex, irrespective of whether he loves her or not. Female sexuality is more heart oriented. She can be interested in having sex with a man mostly if she is in love with the person. This is the basic difference. Moreover, there is another difference wherein a man's sexuality is very intercourse oriented. He is very eager to have intercourse and unless intercourse happens he doesn't get satisfied. Against this, a woman does enjoy intercourse but her sexuality is very much foreplay oriented. Good foreplay is very much required for a woman to enjoy sex and ultimately to enjoy intercourse. If there is not adequate foreplay, she may not enjoy intercourse that much or she may not be able to achieve orgasm. This is the difference between male sexuality and female sexuality.

Caller: Is it true that only males masturbate?

Dr. Bhagat: This is not true, but more men are reported to masturbate than women.

DrNDTV: Do you think abstinence from sex is good for health?

Dr. Bhonsle: Abstinence has nothing to do with physical strength. On the contrary if a person has had sex he enjoys it, he get de-stressed, he becomes more capable of doing any work. The kind of exhaustion that people experience after intercourse or after ejaculation is not a loss of power. It is like at the end of any exercise you feel tired, which is perfectly physiological and normal. I absolutely do not believe that sex makes a person weaker in any manner.

Caller: Is it safe to have sex while I am pregnant?

Dr. Bhagat: This is a matter of choice and differs from case to case. For example, if you have an unsafe pregnancy then you might be advised by the gynaecologist not to have sex.

DrNDTV: Does the length of the penis make a difference in satisfying a woman?

Dr. Bhagat: This is not true because the length of an erect penis in most men is almost the same, and the other important thing to remember is that the sensitive part of the female vagina is only the first three centimetres. So, the length of the penis does not really matter.

Dr. Bhonsle: Only the outer one third of the female vagina is sensitive to sexual stimulation. So if a man's penis on erection is two inches in length, he should be able to satisfy his partner. But many men carry the anxiety that even if their partner does get satisfied, but if she sees his small penis – it might put her off! I would like to tell these men that women are invariably not very much interested in looking at a man's anatomy, and 90 percent of the women while having intercourse, even if it is dark outside, prefer to close their eyes. So they are not interested in looking at the size of your penis and once they have satisfied themselves in intercourse even with a penis which is as much as two to three inches long on erection they are not going to be bothered about the size of the penis. So, size of the penis does not determine sexual pleasure in women.

DrNDTV: There are many advertisements on e-mail for lengthening the penis and enlargment of the penis. There must be something to it. Is there any scientific evidence to prove that a short penis does not satisfy women?

Dr. Bhonsle: There was an experiment performed in US where a beautiful professional prostitute, who was not carrying any sexually transmitted disease, was invited for an experiment. Her eyes were kept closed, and three men were told to perform intercourse with her. One man had a penis only two inches in length on erection, another man had a penis four inches long on erection and the third man had a penis six inches in length on erection. She did not know who was performing intercourse with her. After all the three men performed intercourse her eyes were opened and she was asked by a team of doctors to tell them what according to her was the size of the penis of the three men. She was unable to tell the size. Even a professional prostitute who was experienced could not make out what the length of their penis was, even though the difference was two inches, four inches and six inches. So the satisfaction of women does not depend on the size of the penis.

DrNDTV: I smoke pretty heavily and that too only a particular brand. I have heard that if I continue to smoke the same brand for too long I will become impotent. Is this true?

Dr. Bhagat: It is not about a particular brand, but smoking definitely is a risk factor for atherosclerosis and atherosclerosis ultimately leads to impotency.

DrNDTV: Aphrodisiacs are things that stimulate people to want and enjoy sex. Do you think aphrodisiacs improve the sexual urge?

Dr. Bhagat: The only aphrodisiac that I have known which has a potent effect is the ‘human thought’. There are many myths about chemicals but none of them has proven to be an aphrodisiac.

DrNDTV: What about alcohol?

Dr. Bhagat: Alcohol actually decreases interest and arousal. It causes more problems than it helps. It is a depressant drug and not an exciting drug.

DrNDTV: Can you get HIV by kissing?

Dr. Bhonsle: If it is dry kissing, HIV cannot be transmitted. But if it is a deep wet kiss where body fluids or saliva get exchanged and if there are any ulcers or wounds in the mouth, there is a possibility of HIV getting transmitted.

DrNDTV: Do people who have had circumcision done enjoy sex more?

Dr. Bhonsle: I don't agree with this. There is no difference between the sexual pleasure experienced between men who are circumcised and those who are not, because during intercourse anyway the foreskin gets retracted and the glans penis gets exposed, which is sensitive to sexual stimulus. So, even a person without circumcision can enjoy sex as much as a person who is circumcised.

Caller: Is it possible for a man to know whether his wife is a virgin or not, and if she doesn't bleed during the first intercourse, does that means she is not a virgin?

Dr. Bhonsle: First of all the hymen may not be present since birth in some women. Moreover, even if it is present during childhood, during many athletic activities and sports activities the hymen may get ruptured. So, the absence of the hymen does not mean that a girl has lost her virginity. It is not true that during the first intercourse if a woman does not bleed or her hymen does not get ruptured, that means she was not a virgin.

DrNDTV: Does every woman get pregnant after a first intercourse?

Dr. Bhagat: It is not true that women get pregnant after their first intercourse. A lot of women do, while a lot don’t.

DrNDTV: Can lifting heavy weights affect sexual pleasure?

Dr. Bhagat: I don't think lifting heavy weights can causes any problems related to sexual pleasure.

DrNDTV: Can you discuss any sexual myth you have come across?

Dr. Bhonsle: There are many myths associated with semen. Very often it is considered that the loss of semen is loss of virility or the loss of sexual strength, and semen is considered very precious and a drop of semen is almost equivalent to something like 20 or 40 drops of blood. All these are myths.

Semen is nothing but a mixture of three things - 10 percent are sperms that are produced in testicles, 60 percent are secretions of seminal vesicles and 30 percent are the secretions of the prostate gland. So, it is nearly a secretion of these glands and these three glands keep functioning throughout the life of a person.